Tuesday, January 17, 2017

DiverseAThon TBR





DiverseAThonHello! If you've never heard of DiverseAThon, it's basically a readathon that promotes, encourages, and celebrates diverse books. If you want more info as to how it got started, click here. If you want more info on this specific readathon (starting this Sunday), check out this video. You can also follow their Twitter and check the hashtag #DiverseAThon if you wish to participate! Anyway, I read quite a few diverse books last year, and I want to read even more this year, so I'm hoping this will be a good way to start.

I bit of an important thing for me this time around is that I choose books not only with diverse characters, but also a diverse author. I've run into a few problem here and there with misrepresentation of an identity, and I'd rather not have that.

That being said, let's get started with my TBR!

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

Not only is this book written about a trans woman and by a trans woman, it also has a transgender woman on the cover. I can appreciate that. I'm excited to finally get into more books actually written by trans people.

Image result for if i was your girl

One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva

Finally, I read a book that's diverse in more ways than just GAYYYYY. So yeah. The main character is Armenian. While I have read a couple other books set or with characters from the Middle East, I haven't managed to get to Armenia yet. I'm excited! I read about 12 pages of it a couple weeks ago, and I'm already dying to read more.

Image result for one man guy

Being Jazz by Jazz Jennings

I don't read a lot of nonfiction. It's probably time. Why not make it trans-related? I actually meant to read this book a few months ago, but it just...never happened. I'm hoping it'll be good and quick for a readathon, though!

Image result for being jazz


Are you participating in DiverseAThon? Tell me what you're reading in the comments!

Monday, January 16, 2017

Hello again. I don't remember how to write titles.

And.....I haven't posted since October. I'd like to say I was busy, and I suppose I was, but not really. That's not the reason I haven't posted in months.

I started blogging on December 13th, 2014. Now it's January 16th, 2017. That's kind of a long time.

I never imagined that I'd keep this going at first, but after awhile, I imagined that I'd keep this going at least into college.

I saw a community in front of me full of lovely people and friends that only know how to compliment each other. Sure, there are fights here and there, but mostly? Everyone's nice to everyone else.

I tried wedged myself into an established community. There were people I admired and people I envied.

People that started after me grew faster than me, and as a 13-year-old that didn't know better, I was extremely annoyed with these people. But more so, I was angry at myself. What was wrong with me? Why didn't anyone share what I had to say? Why do I not have hundreds of followers? Am I mean? Do I sound needy? Am I just depressing?

Eventually, I got past that. I read posts showing that EVERYONE seemed to feel this way. I didn't need to be huge.

My problem was, hell, my problem still is, I haven't made any friends here.

I've been blogging for more than two years and I haven't made any actual blogger friends. There are people I talk to, sure, but actual friends? None.

So I have to go back to...what's wrong with me? Is it because I want friends so badly? Am I pathetic?

Maybe this is just the thing about being on-and-off depression for several years. But...still.

Sure, most book bloggers are girls (for some reason I can't figure out). Maybe my weird internal pressure to be masculine makes me uncomfortable when I'm surrounded by girls.

Maybe I'm not as nice. Okay, I'm definitely not as nice. I'm kind of an asshole sometimes. I like ranting about things people don't agree with. And I haven't even shared most of the controversial things I believe.

Basically, I feel alone. This wasn't a big deal when I was 13. I was kind of...used to being alone. But now that I've made a good amount of friends in my real life, the fact that I don't really have any here has started to come into the light.

Maybe I don't comment on other people's blog's enough. I try? Everyone has so many good things to say, though I am eternally bored by most reviews and book tours. That's also a problem.

Maybe if I didn't feel like the only trans book blogger in existence? I mean, I feel so much pressure to review, praise or bash, every LGBTQ+ book in existence, and now I don't even have time. But I can't deal with not saying anything. I feel like I have a responsibility to tell people which books have good representation and bad representation, because it feels like no one else will. Everyone else just takes diverse books and assumes they're accurate. I feel like I read only to review, and that's not what I wanted from this blog.

I'm not sure what this was. I'd love to get back into blogging. I think. I'm still considering just deleting this blog along with all my social media accounts and starting fresh. I don't know anymore.